Kids, Teens, & Church
So, because I blog, I often read other blogs. Some of them are entertainment blogs, but most have to do with Christianity. There are certain blogs in the Christian sphere that have really become beyond annoying. They are whiny, preachy, and don't offer a lot in the way of solutions. They all have to do with kids Sunday school and youth ministry. Most of these blogs say, and I'm paraphrasing, "We need to stop doing this, we need to stop doing that, stop with the lock-ins, the Superbowl parties, and turning worship into a rock show!" The criticism mounts to the point that what the church is doing is not working. Some of these criticisms may have some validity, but most of the time they come off as condescending, insulting and insinuate that the kids and youth group leaders are being lazy. When presenting solutions, all we get from the authors is that we need to re-evaluate how the church does things. Nothing concrete.
Maybe it's because I've been studying discipleship in seminary, maybe it's because I've begun to create relationships with church leaders, or maybe it's because the authors of those types of blogs mistakingly believe every church is a mega church, but I very much want to tell those authors to... shut up.
Let's talk about a few reasons why they should shut up.
Reason 1: Church Size.
In the United States, 59% of churches only get a weekly attendance of 10-100 people. In case critics are having hard time with the math, that's over half of the church going population in the United States. What we glean from this is that most churches do not have the financial resources or the staff to create a fully functioning grade school and high school oriented ministry. It is fair to say that the senior pastor will have to rely on resources that have already been created as well as rely on what volunteers they can get from their already small congregation. It is also fair to say that pastors of these churches will be spread thin until they see some growth, so some areas will not be able to get the attention they deserve, but that is hardly their fault. I want to ask the critics, do they know how hard it is to not only pastor a small church but also be mostly responsible for every ministry? Because it really doesn't read like it.
Reason 2: Lock-ins and Superbowl Parties Offer Safer Places to Hangout.
There is no doubt that youth ministry should be about communicating the Gospel. Some of the ways churches do this en-mass is through overnight events called lock-ins where there are a whole bunch of fun activities and usually some time to present the message of Jesus via a guest speaker. This is less the case with Superbowl parties, however, these can function in a community building process as well as give a safe place for kids, or teens, to gather. One of the things that people forget is that not every young person lives in a stable, or safe, environment no matter their socio-economic status and so events like these can offer a reprieve for a few hours and hopefully make them some friends.
Reason 3: Kids and Teens Shouldn't Solely Depend on Church leaders for Spiritual Growth.
This is the most important reason. So much has been researched lately on why young adults have been leaving the church and why we have this category of people called the "nones," people who don't affiliate with religion. In fact, the University I graduated from recently held a panel to discuss this, but I'd like to offer my own observation on this situation.
One night, my wife was watching one of those teen pregnancy shows on T.V. During an interview, one of the mothers of a teen mom lamented on how the schools never taught her daughter about pregnancy, or offered sex-ed classes. This raises the question, who is responsible for making sure a teen is educated on the birds and the bees? The parents, or schools? We can ask a similar question when we see so many young adults leaving the church, who is more in charge of the spiritual growth of the kid/teen? The youth group staff, or the parents?
Scripture offers some answers for this situation. Instead of bringing up the typical go-to verse that is Proverbs 22:6, I'd like to focus in on two women; Lois and Eunice. In his second epistle to Timothy, the Apostle Paul writes to his protege, Timothy, in Ephesus who is pastoring a church and commends his faith. Paul, however, traces the roots of his reader's faith, saying, "I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also (2 Tim 1:5, NIV). This implies that Timothy's discipleship to God began and was sustained in the home. Two of the most important family members in Timothy's life made sure that they were facilitating the cultivation of his faith. The result was that he became a trusted and loved protege to one of the most important Christian missionaries and church planters of all time, Paul. We, as parents and people who make up the church, can only pass off the buck so far. The church staff plays an integral role for sure, but the spiritual development of a child remains mostly the responsibility of the parents.
This means that if one is taking their kid to church and expecting their kid to have a disciple like relationship with Christ, they should take their own discipleship just as serious. If they expect their kid to read the Bible, they had better be reading the Bible themselves. If their kid begins asking questions about faith, it means they should be willing to answer as best as they can. When one doesn't have the answer, that's when one can depend on the church, leaning on the support of others who have walked down the same path, or who have trained to guide others on their journey; just as I'm sure Timothy's mother and grandmother did from time to time. We have to get past the idea that the church is just a building or institution we gather at once a week and remember that the church is a community of fellow believers.
Another thing. Say you aren't sure you know what is going on in the kids and youth ministry. Say you are curious, concerned, or wanting to see more growth in these areas. My suggestion is to consider volunteering to server in these ministries. Lord knows they are one of the most under served ministries in the church. For my part, my studies now, the research for this post, and the strange and fabulous things God is doing in my life right now have convicted me to prayerfully consider serving in these ministries. So, next time you feel like being critical of kids and youth ministries, pause, think, and pray about all of the realities that need to be met for them.
Also, the next time I read one of those blogs. I want to ask them: are they taking part in a solution? Or are they just being trendy and criticizing the church because it's the cool thing to do these days? If they are not being part of a solution physically, in their own church, then they should maybe shut up.
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